Set Our Heart Free...

...because we can't be imprisoned all our life in a pain that comes from our past.

But some days, it's really hard to deal with that. This day is one of them, especially difficult. Feeling really really bad. Wanna cry all the time. Soabing all the time. Really tired. Wanna isolate myself. Wanna run away somewhere, don't know where. don't want to see anybody. Can't stand any sounds, any voices.

And that's why... 5 years ago. My family situation has changed for the worst thing I never knew I could live. My family broke. my dad's gone. And even before this....the situation was really hard to live. So much tensions. All the time. Each day.

I tried to carry on a lot of things on my shoulder, thinking I could support them without problems. But I was wrong. Really wrong.

5 years ago, I began to develop symptoms of depression and then, I went into it. It's only 1 year later I accepted it and started a treatment.

At the beginning, it was really difficult because I couldn't see what was good with it. I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel....well, I didn't see the end of the tunnel.

Depression. Anxiety. Health troubles. Overeating. Everything was there. Unbearable. And I couldn't control anything. I was losing it. Completely. And I was losing everything I loved to do. Everything seemed to break step by step. and I just could watch them.

When something seemed to get better...everything broke afterwards. Crisis. Crying endlessly.

But...

I know today is different. Even if I live it again sometimes....I know it's different. It's just some days aren't easy at all and I start to collapse again for some reasons. But Where it's getting better is I'm always trying to help myself when I feel this way. Trying to look for solutions in order to get better.

Yes. I'm getting much better than before. I have goals in my life. I want to keep up.

It's just some days, it's really hard. Really really hard. I just can't forget what happened to me, to my family 5 years ago. All this fu**** pain.

I'm just really grateful to have some beautiful friends around me too. They always supported me as well as my family! (even if I didn't always tell them everything about it...I was really quiet).

I just know now everything seem to raise up again and I want to hold this light in myself.

I'm not trying to complain myself at all but....I think it's really important to share this kind of experience because I know I'm not the only one in this situation, some cases are worst than me.

Don't forget: Depression is a real illness. Not something funny. Not something to ignore. It's a real fight.

It was just some words...felt the need to write them down here because it was a bad day today...



...But other days are waiting for me. <3



Dragomira.